The return of Jagr to Washington did not go like Caps fans had hoped. Rough game for the team but there were a few bright spots on the Comcast Sportsnet crew. I don't have a firm time table of when I am going to get these things up after each game but, if you have a twitter you can follow me @Dru90 and I'll try and tweet once a post goes up.
First Star (3pts):
Alan May. He started off strong in the pregame. His partner Carlin and on-ice-reporter Jill Sorenson were talking about how good the Flyers are and that rubbed May the wrong way! Alan vented his rage on Carlin who he called out for wearing an orange and blue "Islanders Tie" and, when Carlin tried to come back with a snappy comeback about May's suit, Alan just stared him down and asked if that was the best he could do. Carlin quickly backpedaled and cut to commercial, presumably to grovel for forgiveness or get a good cry in. Most likely both. Postgame, May brought down the hammer as he called the Caps out for playing soft and letting the Flyers do whatever they wanted in front of the Caps net. Then, in a show of good will and generosity, Alan asks Locker a hockey question about defensive formations. Of course Alan knew the answer, but he likes to make his fellow broadcasters feel useful. He is just that kind of guy. May finished up the post game by talking about how Mike Green doesn't suck.
Second Star (2pts):
Craig Laughlin. Locker was down between the benches tonight and sounded a bit dishearten early on that he wasn't standing shoulder to shoulder with Joe B. Or maybe it was the fact that the puck tried to kill him three times. Who knows. Either way, he began to loosen up and seemed to cope with his separation anxiety by trying to fight some old guy who was with the Flyers twice during the game. That made for some good TV because honestly, who doesn't love a good old guy fight? I was a bit disappointed that it took Locker till eleven minutes into the second period to call the puck a "biscuit" but, he made up for it with two pretty good on ice interviews with Knuble and Alzner. The thing that really pushed his performance over the top tonight though was his ability to call plays correctly. On the Flyers second goal, Locker repeatedly insisted that he saw it go off Matty-P. On the Flyers controversial fifth goal, that went to the secret Toronto review bunker, Locker insisted that it went in. He turned out to be right on both occasions so he scores some major points there. Finally, he gets bonus points for awesome adverb usage during his description of the Flyers fourth goal: "The caps were good positionally defensively.” Well said Locker, well said.
Third Star (1pt):
Julie Donaldson. Julie did the first intermission break and the immediate post game. She didn't quite seem to be herself tonight and I can't put my finger on why. Maybe its because she was wearing all gray which made her seem sad. Maybe it was because she was worried because the producers had stuck her in the studio with the Jenkins. Can't blame her for that one. She did a good job running through NHL highlights and showed off some real hockey knowledge by calling the Pens arena by its nickname, the "Igloo". She also showed a clip from the Rangers game of a goalie getting completely destroyed in a collision and didn't even fuck it up with a stupid comment along the lines of "wow that must of hurt" or "that's gonna leave a mark". During her her postgame highlights she didn't mention the painful Caps loss because she knew the wound was still fresh. She knew we were in need of compassion and comfort after the beat down via the Philly so her sign off was accompanied with a really nice smile that made me feel a little bit better about the loss. That was nice of her. Even when she isn't 100%, Julie comes ready to play.
Other Participants (0 pts):
Micheal Jenkins: Wasn't THAT creepy. Maybe they told him to stop trying to act "cool".
Joe B.: Called a 90pt season for Backstrom.
Rob Carlin: AKA Alan May's Bitch.
Jill Sorenson: Like her haircut. Didn't like her apparent love for Jagr.
Al Koken: For a strange reason I keep picturing him as Wayne Newton.
Last Star (-1pt):
Chuck Gormely. Chuck, Chuck, Chuck. Why do we always run into each other here at the bottom of the list. I have a feeling it's because you are terrible at your job. Actually I'm positive it's because you are terrible at your job. Chuck made an appearance during the first period and I got to say I was pretty pumped. I could just tell from his empty void of a stare that he was really excited about bringing us some insider news. Then he screws up right off the bat by mispronouncing Dale Hunter's name as "Daal Hunter." Come on Chuck. You know Dale Hunter. He is the guy who is our coach. He is our new coach whose name has been all over the media. Surely you have heard his name pronounced once or twice before. Anyways, Chuck goes on to give us his hard hitting journalism of the night, which is something about Hunter being enemies to friends to enemies with a Flyers assistant coach. There is no context given to the statement and he delivers it in such a deadpan manner that I don’t care enough to investigate further. So good job Chuck. I hope the server that supports your blog is ready cause I'm sure you just inspired a million people to rush on over.... Finally, Gormely almost lets out a laugh near the end of his time on camera despite not making a joke. If he had laughed it would not of been a joyful jolly laugh. Chuck's laugh is more of a soulless awkward laugh of a man that knows his life is meaningless and his career is a sham. I'm sorry for that last one Chuck. I'll cut you a break next game.
NOTE: Next game is on the road and Gormely doesn’t seem to ever appear during road games.
Points to Date of Participants:
Alan May: 5
Al Koken: 3
Craig Laughlin: 2
Julie Donaldson: 1
Chuck Gormely: -2
See complete standings in the top right side of the blog!