Caps v Panthers (Apr 5th)

Tonight was yet another big, must win, call it what you like, game.  Basically, it was a big deal.  Guess what, the Caps actually showed up!  Neuvy went down with what looked like a really bad knee injury and that puts our playoff prospects in doubt for the future.  However, tonight the Caps won the game and clinched a playoff spot so its time for celebrating.  There will be plenty of time to look ahead tomorrow.  Check out how the CSN crew did in the last CSN game of the season:

3rd Star (1 pt):

Chick Hernandez. A surprise for the postgame show, Chick clearly wanted to make sure he finished the season on the positive side of zero in our standings. Didn’t wear any red, but gave us a solid wrap-up of the PHI/BUF game and made us chuckle when he pointed out that Rob Carlin was probably the happiest man in the studio. Why? Because if the Caps lost, Alan May would have been angry. And being stuck in a studio for postgame with Angry Alan would, I imagine, be a very intimidating experience indeed.

2nd Star (2 pts):

The Jenkins. Capped off a season that saw him grow from awkward “old Jenkins” to solid “new Jenkins” with a performance that basically showed off all the good stuff he’s been doing in the latter part of the season. Pulled double duty tonight, covering both the first and second intermissions. Came out with a dark red tie (though personally we were really hoping for a bright red vest tonight, but red is red), and both times immediately dove into the Buffalo/Philadelphia highlights, the outcome of which had huge implications for the Caps’ playoff chances (BTW, we clinched :D). Did a solid job with the highlights, and in the second intermission, also gave us a clip of Stamkos scoring on the Leafs and mentioned his quest for 60 goals. Double-kudos for that, as it’s probably the largest non-playoff-related story in the league at the moment. Well done.

1st Star (3 pts):

Alan May.  The man who lead the race all season long finishes on top.  Alan May has been a man on a mission, and that mission is to provide high quality analysis and hard nosed realism about the Caps all season long.  Tonight he was alongside his usual partner Rob Carlin.  Everything you expect of May he deliver tonight.  The highlights were Chick mentioning how the Caps victory will make Carlin the “happiest man alive” because May won’t kill him now.  Everyone fears May, with the possible exception of Locker, and everyone knows it.  During the post game show Carlin was forced to give Alan May “due credit” for correctly predicting that the Capitals season would come down to tonight’s game against Florida.  Apparently May predicted it some time ago too, so good on him.  The rest of the post game had May talking about our goalie situation moving forward and the importance of Saturday’s game against the Rangers to set the tone for the playoffs.  All post game May couldn’t help but smile, something we have almost never seen him do.  It was adorable.  In the way a bear smiles and you think it is cute, but you still fear for your life.  Yeah kinda like that.  May also gets points tonight for not jinxing us, like so many of his esteemed colleagues attempted to do.    

Last Star (-1 pt):

Chuck Gormley.  Chuck was back to give us a swan song in the last CSN game of the season.  Awkwardness?  Check.  Providing no information what-so-ever? Check.  Last place? Check.  Chuck let us know that he interviewed all the Caps players and asked them what they thought of the season.  He told us that they all used the same word to describe it.  I highly doubt that, especially since he didn’t even tell us what that word was.  I really don’t know why Chuck showed up tonight as he added absolutely nothing to the proceedings.  Maybe he wanted to make sure his last place finish was secure.  Well Chuck I have news for you, that was never in doubt.

Fact checked:  Alzner and Chimera described the season as a Roller Coaster. Brouwer did not. No quotes from anyone else.  Nicely done Chuck, nicely done.

So that is all we have for you tonight.  It was a great season here at AOTI and for those of you who stuck it out with us we can't thank you enough.  Check out the final standings on the right side and get in some last minute poll votes for your fan favorite.  We will be posting about the playoffs as they are happening and some point next week look for our big awards presentation extravaganza!  Check out the preview here, http://actionontheice.blogspot.com/2012/03/season-awards-preview.html  , and we will see you then!

Caps v. Jets (Mar 23)

So you know how we pulled out some silver linings from last night's loss to Philly? Well, no such good feelings tonight, as the Caps blew a 3-0 lead and missed an opportunity to stomp on the Jets' collective jugular. At least CSN was on form. It's a rare night when Dave Johnson and Alan May are together and neither of them wins a star, but, well, I missed the pregame show, so there it is. Also honorable mention to Locker for taking the time to sign some autographs during the game. While doing color commentary. Because he's just that fucking awesome.


Third Star (1 pt):





Brent Harris. No idea who this guy is. Never seen him before. A quick glance at his CSN Washington profile page has him as “Comcast SportsNet's voice for the Baltimore region's sports scene.” So what the hell was the dude doing covering a hockey game? I have no idea, but despite the fact that he had on the most drab and colorless of suits, his calls of the Rangers/Sabres and Florida/Edmonton highlights were pretty good all around. Didn’t stumble over any names or anything, and he made sure to note the standings implications. Can’t really ask for much more than that. Except maybe a red tie or something.


Second Star (2 pts):





Kelli Johnson. Did basically the same thing as Harris, but takes second by virtue of the fact that A) she did it before he did, and B), she was rocking a bright red t-shirt AND lipstick. That’s some team spirit. Too bad the Caps choked anyway, but not for lack of trying on Kelli’s part.


First Star (3 pts):





Al Koken. Either Smokin’ Al read our review of Carlin’s performance last night and came out with the intention of putting his job in a stranglehold, or he was just straight terrified of Alan May and wanted to get back out of the studio ASAP. Regardless, Koken was on his game tonight, interviewing not one, but BOTH assistant coaches, and also had an (admittedly brief) chat with AotI fan-favorite Matheiu Perreault during the second intermission. That’s the way to give the people what they want, Al.


Last Star (-1 pts):





Chuck Gormley. Because no matter how many times he tries to drop his name in one pitch, Alan May is not his friend. Also, I just don’t like him.


Bleh. That is all for tonight.

Caps v Canes (Mar 6th)

So I initially thought tonight's game started at 8 for whatever reason and therefore missed the first period and intermission.  That said, I watched the rest but didn't take very details notes on the CSN crew cause I was really into the game.  You know since every game for us is basically a must win now.  Yeah, unfortunately we didn't get that memo because we lost.  Yes we had a late surge to send the game into overtime.  Yes getting a point out of tonight is nice and helpful.  However, a win and two points would of been much nicer.  This team needs to get it together, fast.

As far as the CSN scoring tonight like I said I didn't take my normal detail notes.  I'm still going to give people points cause that's how it goes around here but tonight is going to be short, sweet, and from the gut.  Here goes nothing:

3rd Star (1 pt):

Joe B and Locker.  Sure this sounds like a cop-out.  Whatever.  Both dudes had really awesome ties.  Joe B had a cool purple color scheme going and Locker had a colorful striped tie that looked holographic.  Also they both performed their jobs decently.






2nd Star (2 pts):

Smokin Al.  This dude interviewed a lot of people tonight.  His interview with The Browser (TB20) was pretty funny.  He also interview some military representatives on military night so that was pretty cool.  Nice on you Smokin.

1st Star (3 pts):

Kelli Johnson.  She handled the second intermission.  She wore red (easy points with us).  She had a cool necklace (also easy points).  I haven't seen her in awhile (we missed you!).  She didn't mess up.  That's what we expect from our top stars.  Okay, its probably not ALL we expect from our top stars.  Alan May probably could of taken this spot.  Hell, The Jenkins (who I think handled the first intermission) most likely could of been slotted in here cause he has been on fire (in a good way) lately.  But I didn't see Jenkins tonight (my bad dude) and Alan May always scores all the points.  People might say that is stupid logic.  They might say this is no way to run a blog.  To those people I apologize.  Tonight, for whatever reason, I decided I liked Kelli the best and tonight that was enough to earn her the 3 point spot!

Last Star (- 1 pt):

The sun rises in the east. The capitals break the hearts of their fans.  Chuck Gormley fails at his job.  These are all things that I hold to be true.  Sure I missed the first period.  Sure I didn't see Chuck actually mess up or suck tonight.  At this point I don't really feel the need to justify giving him the -1.  You and I both know what to expect when Gormley comes on screen and he has never disappointed.  Sorry I missed your air time tonight Chuck, but not really.  Minus one for you sir.

So there you have it!  Sorry for the rushed and thrown together nature of tonight's post.  These losses are really starting to take their toll.  Hopefully the team does better next time out, hopefully I do better next time out, hopefully you keep reading.  Please keep reading.  In other sports-teams-I-like news I watched the Orioles play the Pirates in spring training and they lost 10-3.  So I got that to be excited for after hockey ends.  Wahoo!

Thanks for reading,
-Dru

Caps v Islanders (Feb 28th)

Tonight the Caps hosted the Isles at Verizon center.  This season the Caps haven't been able to beat the team from long island and tonight was looking like that trend wasn't going to end.  Thankfully, thanks to a huge 3rd period performance from the team and a big GWG in OT from Ovie the Capitals managed to pull off a win.  Read below to see how the CSN crew did tonight!

3rd Star (1 pt):

Julie!  After a long absence Julie made an appearance tonight for CSN during the 1st intermission and postgame.  Now, its no secret that I am a huge Julie fan.  In fact, my co blogger has to be the voice of reason in a lot of circumstances to keep me from placing her at the top each time she is on.  But tonight where no body really stood out from the pack to grab third he threw me a bone, so bare with me.  Julie came out with her signature energy and immediately put a smile on my face even though we were losing.  How does she manage to do this no matter what the score is?  Who knows?  Most likely explanation is she is a powerful witch (like a good, cool witch who is nice to people and not ugly).  Anyways, she lifted my spirits and made me hopeful that the Caps could pull things together and win the game.  Guess what, that is what happened!  Sure she didn’t wear red (but she looks good in blue!). Sure she stumbled a bit during the first intermission (she hasn’t been on in awhile, she was rusty!).  Sure she just repeated the same things she said in the first intermission during the postgame (it still sounded good.  If it aint broke...).  Sure everything I just wrote is absolutely ridiculous.  Seriously though, while her performance tonight was flawed she probably did enough to earn a 3rd place finish.  If only she would go back to saying “lets look at some action on the ice” like she used to during the intermissions there would be no stopping her from taking first place night after night.  (She hasn’t uttered that phrase since I started this blog...) -Dru    

2nd Star (2 pts):

Alan May.  What can be said about Alan May tonight.  Well the dude clearly knows what he is talking about.  He is always telling anybody who will listen that the Caps need to get the puck to the net and have bodies in front of it to score.  Guess what, when the Caps did that in the 3rd they scored and won the game.  Imagine that.  In the post game May was the first guy to remind everyone that the Caps played awful for most of the game and made the comment that he enjoyed watching tonight’s “5 min game”.  There was a nice back and forth banter between May and Carlin during the highlights, banter that May won handily (though Carlin actually held his own for awhile).  Of course there were plenty of classic “May-moments” in the post game as well.  For example, when Carlin said Neuvy wasn’t tested very much tonight May was absolutely speechless and refused to help him analyzing the highlight.  He also expressed how much he was looking forward to the defensive struggle with the Devils coming up on Friday (his voice was dripping with sarcasm).  Finally, he told Carlin and all the viewers at home that he doesn’t care about “home” games and “road” games.  All he cares about is wins.  Amen Alan, Amen.    

1st Star (3 pts):

Joe B takes tonight’s top prize.  Joe B had a typically strong game doing play-by-play tonight but there are two very specific reasons that he finds himself atop the list tonight.  First, Joe B seems to have mastered the art of the “anti-jinx”.  This season has seen countless examples of CSN personalities jinxing the Capitals and we have reamed them for it every time.  However, tonight Joe B did something new.  He used the power of the jinx to help the team by talking about how Nabokov had shut out the Cap’s for the last four periods.  Lo and behold the Caps scored not once, not twice, but three times on Nabby to come back and win.  If Joe B can use his jinx powers for good instead of evil from here on out the team is in good shape for the stretch run.  The second thing Joe B did tonight to earn his top finish had to do with the player of the game Troy “Browser” Brouwer.  Apparently before the game, Joe B had spoken to Troy about his rough February and lack of point production.  Well I’m not sure what Joe B said to the Browser but he broke out of his slump tonight in spectacular fashion with two scores in the third.  Can we have Joe B talk to all the players before every game?  Please and thank you!  Joe B’s powerful anti-jinx and his magic he worked on Troy are what pushed him into the top spot tonight.  Thank you Joe B! (As a side note, this finish places Joe B in a tie with his broadcast partner Locker for second place.  GASP!)

Last Star (-1 pt):

Good ol’ Gormley. To be honest, we’ve seen Chuck down here at the bottom so often we’re kind of running out of mean things to say. Granted, all of the mean stuff we’ve said so far is pretty much still true: No personality, not very interesting, awkward, bad at plugging his articles, etc. And he was certainly all of those things tonight. In fact, I honestly don’t even remember what he was talking about. So instead, we’ll just address the fact that in the two days leading up to the deadline, Gormley wrote a bunch of bullshit about trading Ovechkin for Nash. Yeah, cause trading Ovechkin for a not as good version of himself, minus the rockstar personality that makes him so marketable, on just as awful a contract would be a smart move for the Caps. Except not. At all. Part of me thinks that maybe Chuck really is deluded enough to think that that would actually be a good idea, but not even he can be that naive, can he? No, more likely Chuck is using incendiary headlines and crackpot theories without any real substance in an effort to garner some page views so he can show the numbers to his editor and go, “Look! People care what I have to say! I’m important!” Even though nobody really does and he really isn’t.

That's all we have for you tonight.  We'll see you back here on Friday for the Caps v Devils.  Thanks for reading and check out the standings on the right hand side of the blog.  Its getting close and we are coming down to the end! (also vote in the poll if you haven't, we might give out a fan favorite award based on it if we get enough votes)

Caps v. Habs (Feb 24)

I swear this hockey team is like Jekyll and and Hyde at home and on the road. After laying two major eggs in Carolina and Ottawa that had me convinced this team was toast, they went out and relatively dominated the (admittedly weak) Canadiens on the back of a 2-point night from Chimera, a beautiful one-timer from Ovie, a meeting of preparation and opportunity for Perreault, and a strong goaltending performance from Neuvirth with his parents in attendance. I love watching this team win, but I can't help but be a little bit worried this is going to convince McPhee he doesn't have to sell on Monday (which he absolutely should, regardless). Anyway, onto the scores!



Third Star (1 pt):
Carol Maloney. Loved Carol’s first intermission report on Evgeny Kuznetsov’s potentially devastating injury during a KHL game today. Liked the fact that we got a prospect report instead of highlights, especially because I’d been waiting for an update on Kuz’s status since the news of his injury broke earlier today. Carol informed us that preliminary MRIs came back negative and the injury didn’t look that serious, so thanks for that. She probably could have scored higher, but she struggled a bit going over the Devils/’Nucks highlights in the postgame show. Hopefully that’ll improve as she covers more hockey in the future.



Second Star (2 pts):
Michael Jenkins, wearing a vest. Jenkins came on for the second intermission wearing a snazzy vest and an awesome red-and-blue striped tie. Rocking the Red AND Blue? That’s above and beyond the call of duty right there. Ran through the Devils/Canucks highlights with enthusiasm. Solid performance and excellent style choice lands Jenkins the second star.



First Star (3 pts):
Al Koken. Smokin’ Al was a busy man tonight, rocking 5 interviews (that I saw, anyway). Also doesn’t hurt his case that he interviewed my three favorite players. During the first period, he did his “Bite of the Night” with Jim Johnson, who always has a good quote. Spoke with AotI favorite Mathieu Perreault during the first intermission, and opened with a joke about how “Scoring with your stick is better than scoring with your face,” and asked about the importance of scoring first. For the second intermission, Koken spoke with a rather winded-looking Ovechkin, who seemed out of breath while he answered Smokin’ Al’s questions. Koken asked him whether the Caps were having more fun out there, and that was helping their game. Ovechkin responded that there was no fun before the game because they needed to focus. After the game, Al interview Michael Neuvirth and discovered that Neuvy’s parents were in attendance tonight. Also sparked a cool moment when he asked Neuvirth how important the home crowd was to the team. Neuvirth gave the fans a shout-out, saying that the team appreciated our support and needed us to bring it every night, which of course evoked a roar from the crowd. Koken topped off his night by interviewing Jason Chimera in the locker room. Chimmer talked a mile a minute, so I didn’t really catch any of it, but Koken did make sure to ask him about the fun-factor of tonight’s game, and Chimera responded much the same way Ovie did.



Last Star (-1 pt):
Surprise, it's Chuck Gormley! I actually turned on the game a little late tonight, so I missed Chuck's bit. So, since I didn't get to see it firsthand, I'm going to go ahead and let the commentariet over at the Japers' Rink Gameday Thread take it away for this one...

"Can someone with strep throat go visit Gormley?"
-wickedwitch

"The awkward is back with Gromley"
-BetterOffWith28

"I can’t believe I unmuted my TV to hear Gormley. Bad timing on my part."
-bathwithtoaster

"Chuck Gormely is the worst sports announcer in front of the camera, ever."
-Brainumbc

So there you have it, folks. It's not just us.

We'll be back tomorrow when the Caps take on the Leafs at Air Canada Center. Still not sure if I want the Caps to win. On the one hand, well, I'm a fan, so I want them to win. On the other, I don't want anything that can possibly make McPhee think this team is okay to happen before Monday. G'night.

Caps v. Jets (Feb 9)

So tonight had all the makings of a good Caps win: The Caps came out, outshot the Jets, and basically dominated every aspect of the game for the first two periods. The second period ended 0-0 thanks to some studly work by both Tomas Vokoun and Ondrej Pavelec, but in the third, the Caps finally broke through in a big way. The first goal came courtesy of the Captain, who's finally starting to look like he's regaining his old form, burying a back-door no-angle shot on the power play. The second came as a result of a beautiful missile of a pass from Ovie (who would also add a shootout tally to cap off his awesome night) to Semin, who tapped it in, also on the PP. And at this point, everything looks golden. Of course, Joe B and Locker couldn't sit and enjoy the success; they had to call out the Jets offense. Repeatedly. And guess what, their insistence on jinxing us proved to be the Caps' undoing as the Jets managed to win the game in a shootout.

Tonight was just one of those nights where we simply didn’t have enough last stars to go around. So, because we’re cool like that, we decided we’d flip everything around tonight and give out three anti-stars for being terrible and one gold star to theone performer who was on top of his game tonight.



Only Star (3 pts):
The Jenkins. On a night where Gormley did what he does best (and then some) and a new guy was all around uninspiring and sucked Jenkins managed to slip into a scoring spot. Yes he did have some issues during his intermission highlights but those seemed to be more on the technical staff at CSN. Hell, at least Jenkins showed some NHL highlights unlike his partner. He also wore red, unlike his partner. Sure he messed up, but he was able to laugh at himself and that helped to make it less awkward. He ended this intermission break with a “Come on Caps” so that was awesome and the first time I have heard him do something like that. He had a really, really nice post game spot that made me do a double take to see who was speaking. It was downright good. Jenkins did enough tonight to be better than the hopelessly lost Gormely and the newbie. He also didn’t jinx us like some other people. For that Jenkins, we salute you. Keep up the excellent work.



Last Star (-1 pt):
Greg Toland. He was a new guy. He wore a blue tie (Jet’s color) instead of red. He talked about boxing. He talked about Tiger Woods. He talked about the Wizards. He talked about the winter classic being in Michigan. No highlights. No Capitals to speak of. All of that was bad enough but what really ensured he would land here and the last spot...he messed up saying the word “part”. Its four letters. Four letters and he couldn’t manage it. Lucky for him there were some other, much worse performances from the CSN crew tonight so his night will probably be largely overlooked.



Worse Star (-2 -1 pts):
Chuck Gormley. So Chuck came on for his usual spot tonight and said he talked to Mike Knuble and got his reaction to potentially being traded. Our editor was skeptical, so in the interest of journalistic integrity (yes, apparently we do have that here at AotI. Who knew?), I decided I’d take a look at Gormley’s blog and see (and yes, I apologizing for giving it hits). Well, turns out Gormley did apparently talk to Knuble, but there’s no evidence in the article that he actually discussed the possibility of being traded with Knuble. Instead, he discussed Backstrom’s Super Bowl party, his concussion, and how Knuble thought it was wise of the team to protect its investment by being cautious with Backstrom. At the very end, there’s a passing mention of what effect Backstrom and Green’s absence may have on McPhee’s deadline moves, but nothing of real substance and nothing about Knuble personally being traded. That, Mr. Gormley, is false advertising, and that is just not cool.

EDIT: So, apparently I wasn't thorough enough in my digging last night; the article I mentioned does not, in fact, appear to be the article to which Gormley was referring. I've since been linked to the correct article, which is mostly about Knuble's healthy scratch and struggles this season. However, at the end of the article, there is a single sentence, which contains the quote Gormley mentioned in his TV spot .So, in the spirit of that whole journalistic integrity thing (because apparently it has to work both ways), I'll be giving Gormley a point back. Because while he was just as boring and robotic as always, at least he didn't lie to us.




Worstest Stars (-3 pts):
This one is a package deal tonight. Joe B and Craig Laughlin both finish dead last for doing their damnedest to jinx the Caps, and eventually succeeding. Joe B started the snowball in the second intermission, saying that Vokoun was “doing it again, for 100+ minutes now.” I could perhaps have overlooked that one, but they really ramped it up during the third period. Joe pointed out that the Jets powerplay was 0-17 lately, and Locker took it a step further by saying that the Jets basically couldn’t score a PPG on the road. Later in the period, Joe B pointed out that WPG was having offensive struggles, only scoring 7 goals in their last 7 games. So guess what happened? The Jets scored two goals. In twelve seconds. One of which was on the power play. And then won the game in a shootout. Way to be, Joe and Craig... Everything you mentioned them being bad at, they managed to do. Good game. NOPOINTSFORYOU!

Caps v Bruins (Jan 24th)

Tonight when all the attention was focused on the suspension of Ovie and how the Capitals were going to get rolled by the Bruins the Caps stood tall.  They didn't roll over and die.  They stood toe-to-toe with the Bruins and thanks to a huge performance by Mathieu Perreault (a favorite of AOTI) the Caps sent the Bruins out of town with a loss.  A side story to tonight's game was Tim Thomas and how he skipped visiting the White House.  Whatever, I don't want to get into that because I don't like politics mixed into my sports.  Something several of tonight's broadcasters didn't seem to understand.  The Caps showed some heart tonight and so did these members of the CSN crew:

Third Star (1 pt):

Smokin Al Koken.  This man interviewed Matty P at the start of the game.  He interviewed him after the second period.  He interviewed him after the game.  He also interviewed Denis Widemen.  Notice anything.  Yeah that is all people who scored goals.  Big time points for that one.  Koken was also there to offer Matty a towel when he got a shaving cream pie to the face during the post game, via Ovie.  Really enjoyed each of his interviews tonight and thought he asked good questions that the players could answer.  Nice work from Smokin tonight. 

Second Star (2 pts):

Jill Sorenson.  She did appear much tonight.  In fact she only had a brief spot during the pregame.  But its quality, not quantity that matters here at AOTI.  Jill had a interview with Hunter before the game and also talked about how the team would need to step up without Ovie and Backstrom.  Jill seemed to think that Matty P,  getting an opportunity to play on the top line, might be the guy to step up.  Well guess what...she was right.  Just about as right as it is possible to be.  I’m not sure Jill thought that Matty would net three goals tonight but she believed in him and comes off looking like a genius after this game.  When you make bold predictions that come true you earn some respect (and points) from us!    

First Star (3 pts):

Julie Donaldson. Julie got first intermission and postgame duty tonight. First intermission started a little rough when the sound cut out, but she didn’t miss a beat. Made sure to talk about the fisticuffs in the Rangers/Jets highlights. Good ol’ Julie, always making sure she shows us the fun stuff. Also showed highlights from an uneventful Sabres/Devils game. Made no mistakes and signed off with a smile. Also, bonus points for not mentioning that the Caps were missing people, since that had been done to death already. Opened her postgame spot with, “Hey, who needs Ovie?” Indeed. We respect that. Certainly a nice change from doom-and-gloom “we’re-toast-without-him” kind of talk.

Other Participants (0 pts):

Alan May: Said guys needed to step up.  Guys stepped up (Matty).

Joe B:  Game intro was about "Malkin-Mania".  Yuck.

Locker: Telestrating and was all about triangles tonight.

Rob Carlin: Meh pregame.  Good postgame.  Feeding off those good team vibes as always.

Chick: Nothing terrible about his performance tonight.  Had a nice red tie on.

Last Star (-1 pt):

It’s no surprise that this spot goes to Chuck Gormley.  When he shows his face during a CSN broadcast it is almost a given that he will be in the last spot.  Two appearances ago he found himself in last but didn’t lose a point.  This is because we at AOTI felt he should decent improvement and an effort to better his craft.  However, his last time out he was back to his old ways and seemed to have regressed.  Tonight confirms that Chuck has forgotten everything he seemed to learn.  He was flat, uninteresting, and obviously reading off a teleprompter.  Its really mind boggling that CSN keeps sending Chuck back out there.  His job is to drum up interest for his blog stories.  There are two ways to accomplish this: have controversial or thought provoking topics or be a engaging and interesting dude.  Chuck consistently does neither.  His story tonight, Ovie’s suspension.  Who didn’t see that coming?  That story has been all over the news and covered to death.  Chuck’s fatal flaw tonight was choosing to compare himself to Alan May.  He opened his spot by letting us know that Alan May and Chuck Gormley are all about the old school hockey hits.  Then he lets us know that he disagrees with May on this particular topic.  This brings up serious complications.  First, it implies that Chuck Gormley has seen hockey before he got his blogging job and knows about the “old school” NHL.  Don’t buy it.  Second, it makes me compare Alan May and Chuck and makes me realize how awful Chuck really is.  Also have some courage to outline your views Chuck.  Saying “I disagree with...” isn’t telling us anything.  Take a stand and that’ll get your stories some views and inspire debate.  Finally, up until now I’m not sure May even knew who Gormley was but Chuck may have just woken a sleeping giant.  If they get into a war of words it’ll be a massacre, and that’s something that everybody can enjoy.  Just don’t kill him Alan, we need him here at AOTI.

As mentioned at the top, Matty is something of hero/fan favorite here at AOTI.  That said, here is a profession of that love:

GOLD STAR (for awesomeness):

Mathieu Fucking Perrault. So, coming into tonight’s game, the talk was all about the fact that the Caps are now playing without their two best players and two-thirds of their top line, as Nick Backstrom is out with a concussion and Ovechkin is serving a suspension. The million-dollar question from every media/blog/anyone-with-a-computer source out there was “Who’s going to step up?” Well, Matty P answered the bell in a big way tonight; he was a force almost every time he was out on the ice en route to his first career hat trick. The goals themselves were the result of hard work; the first was a beautiful passing play, the second was an unassisted wrister that started with a beautiful pickpocket, and the third came as a result of Matty going to the net and scoring on a rebound. Admittedly I’ve always been a shameless Matty P fan, but after watching his effort and energy tonight, coupled with the fact that the smile on his face after he scored that third goal was so goddamn big that there’s no possible way one could NOT be happy for him, he’s pretty much cemented himself as my fan-favorite. (Murshawursha)

Thanks for reading!  Next game comes next Tuesday.  Enjoy the All Star break and see you then!

Caps v. Isles (Jan 17th)

Tonight was the first game in quite a while that has actually had a fully-staffed and full-blown pre- and post-game show, and CSN apparently decided they had to make up for lost time. Alan May and Dave Johnson were aces together, and tonight certainly gets five stars for overall production value.


Third Star (+1 pts): Julie Donaldson
Did a solid job holding down the first intermission and the post-game Sportsnet Central solo. Was just okay doing the highlights, but she scores bonus points for wearing a red necklace on a night where everybody else seemed more interested in wearing purple. She also gets some sympathy points for having to run through two sets of Penguins highlights in two consecutive appearances. Ouch.


Second Star (+2 pts): Alan May
I’d make some sort of comment about Man and Johnson being a dynamic duo tonight, but I feel like Alan would probably not be amused and possibly knock my block off, so I’ll refrain. Regardless, May turned in the kind of performance we’ve come to expect from him: Strong, informed analysis and a willingness to tell it like it is when the Caps don’t do so well, which they certainly didn’t tonight. May pulled no punches in the post-game show; he felt the Caps got manhandled by a team they should have beaten, and went on to detail the list of reasons why it happened: Too much perimeter hockey with no real net pressure in the offensive zone; spending too much time in their own D zone tires them out, making it hard to generate offensive pressure; and that the Caps’ PK stood still and gave the Isles too much space. He elaborated on the latter point via telestration. Still, May knows the importance of sportsmanship, and in the spirit of being a gracious loser, he made sure to congratulate Islanders forward PA Parenteau on his first career multi-goal game. I’d congratulate him, but Alan May doesn’t need my approval. He knows he’s a badass.

First Star (+3 pts): Dave Johnson
Dave Johnson was on pre- and post-game duty with Alan May tonight. Like Rob Carlin earlier in the season, his job was basically to set up topics for Alan to elaborate on. However, unlike Carlin, Johnson wasn’t afraid to bust out some analysis and commentary of his own to round out May’s always insightful comments. Also unlike Carlin, whom May always seemed to view with a certain “we’re not friends, stop making bad jokes,” May seemed to hold a higher measure of respect for Johnson, listening to and responding to Johnson’s comments. Perhaps its because they both look like tough dudes, perhaps there’s a measure of ‘kindred spirit’ there. Or maybe May just respects Johnson’s confidence. Either way, anybody who earns Alan May’s respect certainly earns mine. First star for Johnson.

Last Star (-1 pts): Chuck Gormley
Got through his bit without stumbling, but he was still very obviously reading from a teleprompter. His subject? Last year, after Mike Green got injured, McPhee went out and got Dennis Wideman. But this year, he may stand pat. No really Chuck? Maybe that’s because Dennis Wideman is still here (and an All-Star to boot). Regardless, not a terrible performance by Chuck’s rather low standards, but it was still the worst on the night, so he has to get the last star. And unfortunately for Chuck, my editor has also forbidden me from giving out “Nice try, good effort,” awards, so Chuck loses a point tonight.

Anyway, see you tomorrow, in a game in which Rene Borque hopefully gets his ass kicked.

Caps v. Lightning (Jan 13)

Since our favorite Editor-in-Chief (Dru) is out having a life tonight, you, dear readers, are stuck with my sole analysis tonight. I apologize in advance if tonight's post lacks the standard of scathing and wit you've come to expect from AotI.

Tonight's game was a rather entertaining affair right from the drop of the puck. Two early PPGs by the Caps (one from the Captain and one from Brouwer, the first goal of his first career hat trick) set the tone. It's a shame it was buried on CSN+, with no pregame or postgame show, and no Sportsnet Central intermission reports, which rather limited tonight's cast. On that note, fuck the Wizards. Seriously, how does the team with 1 win in 11 tries, in last place overall in its league, warrant higher billing and more coverage than the Caps, who are at least keeping their head above water? Lame shit man, lame shit. Anyway, to the recap!

Third Star (1 pt):

Smokin’ Al Koken. Koken had a solid if unspectacular night, doing his Bite of the Night thing and two intermission interviews. Interview subjects were both totally relevant (Wideman and Brouwer) and he asked all the right questions, about tonight’s scoring, and made sure to ask Wideman how it felt to be an All-Star. I did find it rather amusing that at the end of the game, Smokin’ was talking to Joe B and Locker while standing on the Capitals’ bench and the players near him just acted like he wasn’t even there.

Second Star (2 pts):

Joe B. Joe B also had a solid night, though without any real home-runs, which is why he settles into the second star slot behind his partner. Called a good game, participated in the Wideman love-fest, and only mentioned the fact that Mike Green (and Backstrom) was injured one time. Strong performance for Joe.

First Star (3 pts):

Craig Laughlin. As soon as the first period started, Locker scared the crap out of me by mentioning that he Caps had won 5 straight home games against Tampa, and Tampa was on a 5-game road losing streak. Seriously Locker, trying to jinx us in the first minute? But my worries turned out to be for nothing (Tampa’s last-minute flurry nonwithstanding) and the Caps came away with two points, so I can’t fault Locker for that observation. Called out Tampa Bay for their dumb penalties early on, saying that they tend to burn you, and tonight they certainly did, so points for that. Lots of love all around for All-Star Defenseman Dennis Wideman. Locker even gave us a nice telestration in the second intermission and kept the “Hold it here” count down to a nearly-miraculous four. Also during the second intermission, Locker and Joe B talked with Ivan Carter and another guy whose name I missed (sorry) about their new sportstalk show. The segment was entertaining, and I’m at least interested in watching it, so good job there. It culminated with some video clips of Ivan Carter skating with Alan May. Locker pointed out that Alan just beat up on him. That’s because Alan May does whatever the fuck Alan May wants, to whomever he wants, whenever he wants. Locker gets it. To cap off the night, after Tampa scored their first third-period goal and play continued, Locker said he was 100% certain that the puck was in. Upon review, he turned out to be right. He also made sure to call out the All-Star selection committee for snubbing Nicky B. A well-deserved first star goes to Locker on a night on which he was clearly firing on all cylinders.

Last Star (Usually -1, but tonight -0 pts):Chuck Gormley. Odd as it sounds, I’m actually going to be nice to ol’ Chuck and not deduct a point for his last-place finish tonight. Why? Well, for starters, I missed half his spiel because the delivery guy showed up with my Pork Fried Rice right as he came on, and pork fried rice is fucking delicious. Also, the latter bit of his appearance (which I did catch) seemed improved. He looked at the camera and delivered his message without stuttering or stumbling over his words. The topic, Rene Borque’s trade to the Montreal Canadiens and its impact on their next meeting with the Caps, actually sounded kind of interesting. The only reason I even have him slotted here is because there were only 4 broadcasters tonight, so he gets it by default. Any other night, he probably lands a neutral finish. Also, nice guy that I am, I want to reward his improvement. I still can’t stand the dude’s voice, but at least his delivery is getting better. So there you go Chuck, try to keep up the better work and your freefall through the standings might stop.

So that about wraps it up for tonight. Next game is Sunday at 5pm against Carolina. Hopefully Alan May will be back, because it's been over a week since I've seen him and a week without Alan May is just too long.

Caps v Flames (Jan 3rd)

On a night where the Caps could get back into the playoff picture with a win they did not dissappoint.  The came out and dominated the Flames and got the W.  Also Mike Green is finally back but Nick Backstrom took a nasty elbow to the head and is being evaluated.  Hopefully everything is okay with him!  The CSN crew had a newbie in their ranks tonight for the coverage.  Read about it below!

Third Star (1 pt):

Kelli Johnson.  She is a new face to the CSN broadcast crew for Caps games.  After some quick research I found out that she normally serves as the CSN field reporter for the Redskins.  I guess since that gig is over for the time being she has been brought on board to do some Caps coverage.  She handled the second intermission break and smartly wore bright red to score some easy points.  She did a good job with the highlights and didn’t make any mistakes, which is impressive for a newbie.  She came off as very professional and never seemed like just a pretty face/ airhead.  She really reminds me of Jill Sorenson in her delivery, very professional but lacking emotion.  However, some of that lack of energy could be due to it being her first time out with the Caps crew.  It is notable that she showed a lot more energy in the CSN show after postgame live and raised Chick’s energy level as well.  I expect she will be getting more opportunities now that the Skins are done and I think she will be able to put in a consistently good effort and grab better finishes now that she has her first one out of the way.

Second Star (2 pts):

The second star goes to Rob Carlin.  He was in his normal spot alongside Alan May for the Pre and Post game coverage.  During the pregame, Carlin set up May nicely to talk about all the major points of interest for the game.  He brought up what Green’s return meant to the team and how it would impact specific players like Hamrlick and Orlov.  He also gave Hamrlick some well deserved praise for his nice play of late.  Carlin also brought up the goalie fight between Voko and Kipper and touched on Iginla’s pursuit of goal number 500.  In the post game Carlin came out excited.  He talked about Ovie’s great performance of late and uses a nice “back down in Chinatown” rhyme to throw the coverage back over the Joe B and Locker.  Carlin tag teams the game highlights and does a nice job.  Carlin seems to feed off of the Caps successes.  When the team is playing well and winning Carlin takes his performance to another level and really shines.  If he can figure out away to bring that same energy and passion to the broadcast even when the team is playing poorly he’s going to move up in the standings quickly.    

First Star (3 pts): 

Alan May.  Solid performance tonight for CSN’s resident hockey tough guy.  Did a good job during the pregame show covering all of the stories and topics along side Carlin and doesn’t get stuck talking only about Mike Green’s return.  He telestrates and makes it look so easy.  Really, Alan May telestrations look effortless whereas Locker makes it look like a struggle.  Alan’s keys to the game tonight were for the Caps to be better than the Flames at everything.  Can’t argue with that logic!  Favorite part of the pregame coverage from May was he saying “I wouldn’t mind seeing a fight tonight” in response to Carlin’s comments about the Voko-Kipper fight.  During the postgame May does a nice job hitting on the high and low points of the Caps performance.  He also went through the game highlights with Carlin very smoothly.  He makes sure to give Voko his due, on a night when really nobody else mentioned his great performance.  May talks about how Ovie has been hot as of late and gives credit to Hunter for giving him a lot of ice time, something he says Bruce did not do.  Carlin tries to make it seem like him and May are best buds by making a comment about watching the game together.  May shrugs him off and gives him a look that says “its our job to watch the game and yes we were in the same room, but we are not friends”.  May ends the postgame show with a crack about Carlin forgetting his suit and having to borrow one.  May takes no prisoners!  He also takes the lead over Locker in the Action on the Ice standings.

Other Participants (0 pts):

Smokin Al Koken: Handle the interview duties.  No Bites of the Nite and lost out of an intermission interview because of Joe B's interview with the head of the AHL.

Chick:  Came out flat tonight.  Picked it up as the night went on but not enough to get into a scoring spot.  Saw him pulling double duty doing the Wizards game.  If I was forced to watch that team I would be a little flat myself.

Joe B:  Part one of the dynamic Mike Green is back duo.  Mentioned that Green was back from injury 20+ times.

Locker: Part two of the dynamic duo.

Last Star (-1 pt):

Chuck Gormely.  I think some criticism has reached Chuck’s ears.  Maybe he’s reading this blog.  I suspect someone told him people think he sucks and has zero personality because he tried to change it up tonight.  He really tried to put in a better performance when Joe B tossed the broadcast over to him in the 1st period.  Unfortunately, for Chuck this meant that he just talked real fast and slurred his words.  Soon enough the good old, slow and monotone Chuck was back.  He told us that he was talking about Iginla on his blog and his chances at the Hall of Fame.  I seriously doubt that Chuck has heard of Iginla before tonight because he didn’t have a lot to say about the dude.  If you don’t have at least a minute of material you can use when talking about Iginla then how are you a professional covering the NHL.  Chuck felt that Iginla wasn’t good enough to fill up his brief time sport so h crammed another topic in.  His second piece of super insider and breaking news was that there is a thing called the Winter Classic and it might come to Washington at some point.  This is a topic that any halfway decent Capitals fan has heard once or twice before.  While I appreciate that Chuck tried to do something different tonight, he still feel on his face with his topics and delivery.  ‘atta boy Chuck, welcome back to the bottom.

Points of Participants to date:

Alan May: 12

Locker: 10

Joe B: 7

Carlin: 7

Smokin: 3

Chick: 2

Kelli: 1

Chuck: -4

See the complete standings in the top right of the page!

Hope you enjoyed the post.  The next Capitals game is against the Sharks at 10:30pm on Saturday.  Saturday also happens to be my birthday.  If anyone out there has been dying to take a crack at covering the CSN crew for a game I'd be willing to give them a shot at doing Saturday's game.  Its away so there won't be to many people to keep track of.  If interested leave a comment or shoot me a tweet @Dru90 and we can work something out.  See you Saturday.