Dan Steinberg on Joe B and Locker

Dan Steinberg over at DC Sports Bog has a pretty... let's say illuminating piece about everyone's favorite play-by-play combo.Yes, apparently they're just as crazy out of the booth as in it.

Seriously, when those two retire, they should write a book. I'd buy it. Oh, and good on Locker for keeping his accent. He'd be nowhere near as much fun without it.

Caps v Lightning (Apr 2nd)

Tonight was a pretty important game for the Caps.  Just like every game of late.  And as is the case all to often, the Caps let us down and let this game slip away from them.  They didn't even get a pity point out of it.  Nothing to do but move forward.  Two games left before we find out if this team did enough to get into the playoffs.  We sure don't make things easy on ourselves.

In CSN related news, there was some sort of emergency at CSN HQ tonight that prevented the pregame show from airing.  That really hindered Alan May and Al Koken from scoring tonight and left the door open for the rest of the CSN crew to put up some points.  Read below to see how they did:

Third Star (1 pt):

Joe B. Despite the fact that he was wearing one of the ugliest suits I’ve ever seen (though still more interesting than Harris’), Joe B managed to score solely by virtue of his comment during the first: “The 1-3-1 strangles the life out of games.” Damn f***ing straight. It’s hell to watch, and the sooner that shit is out of hockey, the better. Must be extra-painful for a guy like Joe B to call these games, seeing as he loves his firewagon hockey as much as we do.

Seriously. F*** Guy Boucher and his 1-3-1.


Second Star (2 pts):

Julie Donaldson.  Julie handled the 1st intermission and post game tonight.  She had a nice looking shirt and skirt outfit on.  Too bad it was allll black.  During her first segment she showed us the Pens-Flyers brawl.  Seriously, Julie always gets to talk about the fights when she is on, but we aren’t complaining.  She also talked about the overall playoff race picture in a quick but comprehensive manner.  Julie reappeared after the game and thankfully didn’t even acknowledge that the game had ended.  Instead she talked about a charity event that the Capitals wives and girlfriends put on recently, which put a smile on our faces for a split second before realizing that a hockey game HAD, in fact, just ended and we HAD in fact lost.  

First Star (3 pts):

Locker.  Locker returns to his scoring ways tonight with a first place finish.  Unlike Julie and Joe B, Locker wore a really nice looking suit and also had a bright red tie on.  Clearly, he came to play tonight.  Locker did an average job providing color commentary tonight while also handling the intermission interviews with Nicky and Matty.  Anytime Matty gets air time it’s a win in our book so good on you Locker.  The other thing that set Locker apart tonight was the praise he laid on the Semin-Matty P pairing.  Those two have been a consistent bright spot for the second half of the season and it’s about time people start taking notice of their great on ice chemistry.  Locker inched out a first place finish in front of Julie tonight, but it may not be enough for him to compete with Alan May for the number one spot.       



Last Star (-1 pts):

Chick Hernandez. Covered the second intermission. Didn’t mention hockey. Didn’t wear red. ...There’s really not any way to spin this that looks good for Chick. Pretty easy call on a non-Gormley night.

That's all we have for you tonight.  One more CSN game to go.  Check out the standings to see how the final game is going to have an impact on the race.  Vote in the poll to ensure your fan-favorite is recognized in the awards presentation.  Stay tuned for that coming some point next week after the dust has settled.  Thanks for reading!

Caps v Habs (Mar 31st)

Tonight was the return of Nick Backstrom.  As everyone on the CSN crew let us know.  14 times.  The Caps came out flying and took an early 2-0 lead before completely disappearing until the shoot out where Hendy and Semin got us the win.  Neuvy kept us alive all night long and made some incredible saves.  Buffalo lost which gives us a 2 pt lead with 3 games to go.  Lets finish this season strong!  See below for the CSN crew:

Third Star (1 pt):

Carol Maloney. Came out with a lot of energy for the second intermission, perhaps in an effort to make up for the Caps’ lack of motivation in the second. Wasn’t rocking the red, but at least she was in blue, and if we’re being honest, just about any color of any kind would have scored her some serious points after Brent Harris’ umpteen different shades of gray in the first. Seriously Brent, your commentary is solid, but get a more interesting suit, or at least a snazzy tie. The gray is so drab and depressing. But right, this post is supposed to be about Carol Maloney.

Carol gave us a nice long look-in and fairly comprehensive coverage of the Sabres/Leafs game tonight, and made sure to make note of the playoff implications of that game on the Caps. Always a nice thing to remind us of this time of year.

Second Star (2 pts):

Smokin’ Al Koken.  Koken was a busy man tonight.  He had a pregame interview with Knuble, handled the intermission interviews, had two bites of the nite segments with the assistant coaches, and did a post game interview with Neuvy.  I really enjoyed his interviews with Beagle; which featured a replay of his goal, Hendy; in which you could feel the intensity coming off of number 26, and Neuvy; his post game comments were adorable and showed how much he cares about the team.  Koken disappeared from the scoring sheet for awhile during the middle of the season but ever since that game in which he and Rob Carlin switched places he has really seemed to step his game up. 

First Star (3 pts):

Alan May.  What can we say that hasn’t been said about this man.  His pre game coverage was solid as normal and he gave Hendy a shoutout for his great shootout skills.  In the Post game Alan May was the first man to heap tons of credit onto Neuvy and followed this up by talking about Semin and Matty P.  Finally, he gave Hendy some more credit for his tough play and shootout skills.  Basically everything positive that I thought about the Caps tonight May touched on and did so in the order that they deserved to talked about.  Neuvy, Matty Semin, and Hendy.  He did a great job not letting us forget about all the things the Caps did wrong tonight and need to improve upon if they want to finish off this push to the playoffs.  May proved tonight why he is on top of the standings and why he aims to keep it that way. 

Last Star (-1 pt):

Locker. Oh, Locker... Him and Joe B were at it again pregame and in the first, making sure to inform us how terrible MTL has been on the road, how crappy their season has been off the ice, and how bad their record was when trailing after the first period. And wouldn’t you know it, the Habs managed to claw themselves back into it and take the game to a shootout. The announcer jinx strikes again. Got some slight bonus points for coining Hendy’s awesome new nickname (“Paralyzer”) and resulting obvious theme song, but, well, if I’m being honest, Locker played himself into last place early on tonight when he predicted the Great Satan (also known as the Pittsburgh Penguins) to win the Stanley Cup this year. For shame, Locker, for shame. Not sure what’s going on with him of late; despite his strong performances throughout most of the season, he’s dropped the ball a couple of times lately and as a result looks to be playing himself out of competition for the top spot and handing it to Alan May.

That's all we have for tonight.  May made a strong statement that he intends to finish the season on top.  Two games to go until we reach the end of the AOTI race.  Stay tuned and thanks for reading!  

Caps v Bruins (Mar 29th)

So what is it with this team?  One night they get blown out by the team they are fighting with for a playoff spot.  The next they play the defending champs tough and win in dramatic fashion in an OT shootout.  If this season has taught me anything, it's to not ask questions.  I have no idea who is going to show up every time the Caps take the ice.  I have a feeling they don't know themselves.  Four games left until we find out if the "good" Caps showed up enough to get us to the playoffs or if the "bad" Caps paid us a visit one to many times...

I was able to follow the scores and highlights tonight but had to leave my TV after the 1st intermission.

Therefore points are going to be short and sweet and pretty seat-of-pants thrown together.

3rd Star (1 pt):

Joe B.  Joe B rarely lets us down.  He did let us down in the first period.  He also loves goals and drama.  The Caps sure gave us that at the end of the game so I'm confident Joe B had several great moments then.

2nd Star (2 pts):

Locker.  Locker had a pretty crazy suit-tie combo on tonight.  I enjoyed his back and forth with Joe B during the first period.  He was also handling intermission interviews tonight and I always find his interviews more enjoyable than Smokin Al's.

1st Star (3 pts):

Jill Sorenson.  Jill doesn't get enough credit.  She knows her stuff.  She gets air time every night, though its normally very brief for pre or post game interviews, and she probably deserves to be on camera a lot.  I am always saying she seems a little to "business" like whenever she handles the intermission breaks so I have a hard time connecting with her.  Still, she is a hell of a hard worker so she gets some much deserved recognition tonight.  Also I left after her intermission break so I apologize to whoever her partner was if they gave the broadcast of their life tonight.

Last Star:

Tonight this goes to me.  That's right, the editor in chief himself.  I left my television to go out for pizza with friends.  I have let you all down.  Actually...last time I watched the Caps they got killed.  Tonight they got a win.  On second thought, I probably did you all a favor by skipping out early tonight!


That's all I got for tonight.  Sorry for the lateness of the post.  We only have 4 games left, with the last being on NBC.  That means only 3 CSN games left!  The race is heating up and I'm pretty excited to see how things are going to turn out.  Check back tomorrow during the day because I'll be putting up a post how the end of the season "awards" are going to be handled and what to expect during the off season.

PS.  I am also writing over at   http://woefulnats.blogspot.com/ now.  If your a baseball fan/ nationals fan check it out sometime!

Thanks for reading!
-dru

Caps v Sabres (Mar 27th)

So I am back from my vacation and decided to watch the game tonight in the midst of return to school work.  Boy did I pick a good game to come back and watch.  By that I mean I picked the worst game possible.  We really could of used a win tonight against the Buffalo, the team we are tied for 8th place with.  At the very least we needed to show that we were a playoff caliber team.  Instead we got absolutely blown out in our own building.  While the Caps aren't eliminated by any stretch, this playoff race is going to go down to the wire and we refuse to make things easy on ourselves.  Good news, Backstrom might be back soon.  A few notes on how the CSN crew did tonight below!

3rd Star (1 pt):

Joe B.  Joe had a strong game as always and was really showing his team spirit by wearing a bright navy blue suit and red tie combo.  To bad that didn't inspire our team to victory.  Also had a funny comment about being "obligated" to give out a player of the game.

2nd Star (2 pts):

Julie Donaldson.  I haven't seen Julie in awhile (like I said, was on vacation) so I was happy she was on in her normal Tuesday spot.  She had a awesome purple dress outfit on (or maybe a shirt) and like always made me feel a little bit better about the Caps horrendous performance on the ice.  She also provided some Nicky news after the game which was better then talking about the game.

1st Star (3 pts):

The Jenkins.  He has been on an absolute tear of late.  Not making any mistakes.  Not being creepy.  Having genuinely funny moments without coming off as corny or forced.  Rocking the team colors with an awesome tie.  With such a crazy turn around its almost like he reads this blog.  Hmm....

Last Star (-1 pt):

Locker.  Locker had two major blunders that went against him tonight.  First, he said the Caps were in playoff mode and we all know what that means...we are going to choke.  Lo and behold we did just that tonight.  Besides that least we forget that way back in September Locker counted Buffalo out of the playoffs.  Looks like you might have been wrong about that one Locker...  


So that's all I have for you tonight.  It's good to be back, just wish it could of been on a more winning note.  With the end of the season fast approaching be sure to look for our end of the season awards ceremony posts where we will be highlighting a variety of the CSN crew and their work over the course of the season.  Then be sure to check in during the playoffs and off season for random hockey related posts.  Thanks for reading!
-Dru
 

Caps v. Jets (Mar 23)

So you know how we pulled out some silver linings from last night's loss to Philly? Well, no such good feelings tonight, as the Caps blew a 3-0 lead and missed an opportunity to stomp on the Jets' collective jugular. At least CSN was on form. It's a rare night when Dave Johnson and Alan May are together and neither of them wins a star, but, well, I missed the pregame show, so there it is. Also honorable mention to Locker for taking the time to sign some autographs during the game. While doing color commentary. Because he's just that fucking awesome.


Third Star (1 pt):





Brent Harris. No idea who this guy is. Never seen him before. A quick glance at his CSN Washington profile page has him as “Comcast SportsNet's voice for the Baltimore region's sports scene.” So what the hell was the dude doing covering a hockey game? I have no idea, but despite the fact that he had on the most drab and colorless of suits, his calls of the Rangers/Sabres and Florida/Edmonton highlights were pretty good all around. Didn’t stumble over any names or anything, and he made sure to note the standings implications. Can’t really ask for much more than that. Except maybe a red tie or something.


Second Star (2 pts):





Kelli Johnson. Did basically the same thing as Harris, but takes second by virtue of the fact that A) she did it before he did, and B), she was rocking a bright red t-shirt AND lipstick. That’s some team spirit. Too bad the Caps choked anyway, but not for lack of trying on Kelli’s part.


First Star (3 pts):





Al Koken. Either Smokin’ Al read our review of Carlin’s performance last night and came out with the intention of putting his job in a stranglehold, or he was just straight terrified of Alan May and wanted to get back out of the studio ASAP. Regardless, Koken was on his game tonight, interviewing not one, but BOTH assistant coaches, and also had an (admittedly brief) chat with AotI fan-favorite Matheiu Perreault during the second intermission. That’s the way to give the people what they want, Al.


Last Star (-1 pts):





Chuck Gormley. Because no matter how many times he tries to drop his name in one pitch, Alan May is not his friend. Also, I just don’t like him.


Bleh. That is all for tonight.

Caps v. Flyers (Mar 22)

I'm not entirely sure what to write about tonight. On the one hand, a close-fought game against a team looking waaay down at the Caps in the standings to finish off a road trip in which the Caps took five points in five games is worth celebrating, to a certain extent. On the other, well, at this point in the season, wins are at a premium, and to watch a game as close as this one slip away hurts. On the plus side, Holtby was solid-to-studly in net for the second game in a row, so file that one into the "hope for the future" column, even if he does need to work on low glove side, as both Flyers shootout goals beat him in the same spot. Anyway, onto the crew!


Third Star (1 pt):





Alan May. May listed his “Keys to the Game” in the pregame show: Force Bryz off his game, check the Flyers D to their backhands, and control and slow the Flyers’ top line of Giroux, Jagr, and Hartnell. Well, despite the fact that the Flyers’ only goal was Giroux from Jagr and Lilja, well... the Flyers’ only goal was Giroux from Jagr and Lilja. Any time a team only gives up one goal, they put themselves in a good position to win, so I’ll give May credit for getting this one right. However, the Caps pretty clearly failed to force Bryz off his game. Maybe if they would have, they’d have been able to score more than one goal themselves. Which only serves to illustrate what we already know: When the Caps listen to Alan May, they win hockey games.


Second Star (2 pts):





Craig Laughlin. Locker was spirited tonight, heaping praise on Ovie’s play of late from the very beginning. He also was pretty liberal with the accolades to Holtby (though pretty much everyone was), and in response to Carlin’s comparison of Holtby to Hextall, countered with one of his own: Jim “Ace” Carey. But most importantly, Locker gave us not one, but TWO BONUS telestrations in the middle of the second and third periods. That was awfully generous of him, though admittedly his “Hold it Here” count ran a little high tonight as a result. He also condemned the Canes as “out of it,” and said if the Caps beat WPG tomorrow, WPG will also be “out of it.” We'll see, Locker... We'll see.


First Star (3 pts):





Rob Carlin. Carlin and Smokin’ Al switched places tonight, with Koken working pre- and post-game duties with Alan May and Carlin taking Koken’s usual position Inside the Glass. Free of Alan’s rather intimidating presence (and despite May’ s wish that a Philly fan “pummels Rob Carlin into submission”), Carlin actually did a remarkably solid job providing factoids and interviews at various points throughout the game. He spoke to Keith Aucoin, Brooks Laich and Karl Alzner tonight (pre-game, first, and second intermissions, respectively) and got along well with all three. Told Aucoin that he was “an easy guy to root for,” and bonded with him as a fellow sleep-deprived parent of recently-arrived twins. During the first period, he hit us with an anecdote about comparisons between Holtby and Hextall, specifically their stickhandling, and how Holtby was honored to even be mentioned in the same breath as a legend like Hextall. Continuing in that vein, he asked Alzner during the second intermission what it was like playing in front of Braden. Alzner responded that it was “like having a sixth skater out there,” and his puckhanding abilities were such a boost for the defense in front of him. Good questions, good rapport, good job all around for Carlin. Seemed to make the most of his chance to get out of the studio. He must really be terrified of going back in with Alan.


As far as last star goes, fuck it. If the editor can go on vacation, I can skip out on a last star. The only other participants tonight were Al Koken, Julie Donaldson, and Michael Jenkins, all of whom did perfectly adequate jobs in their respective roles tonight. As far as intermission reports go, Donaldson is probably the strongest when it comes to calling hockey highlights, and a pretty drastically-improved Jenkins is working his way up to second best. Though neither of them wore red tonight, at least Julie had a blue dress on. Jenkins' outfit was just boring despite the vest. All dark and drab colors. Wear some red, it makes you score higher.

Anyway, I'll see you all tomorrow (or today, by the time most of you read this), where the Caps play a Jets team whose playoff hopes might very well rest on the outcome of tomorrow night's game, at least according to Locker. Hopefully the Caps are up to the task.

Caps v Canes (Mar 6th)

So I initially thought tonight's game started at 8 for whatever reason and therefore missed the first period and intermission.  That said, I watched the rest but didn't take very details notes on the CSN crew cause I was really into the game.  You know since every game for us is basically a must win now.  Yeah, unfortunately we didn't get that memo because we lost.  Yes we had a late surge to send the game into overtime.  Yes getting a point out of tonight is nice and helpful.  However, a win and two points would of been much nicer.  This team needs to get it together, fast.

As far as the CSN scoring tonight like I said I didn't take my normal detail notes.  I'm still going to give people points cause that's how it goes around here but tonight is going to be short, sweet, and from the gut.  Here goes nothing:

3rd Star (1 pt):

Joe B and Locker.  Sure this sounds like a cop-out.  Whatever.  Both dudes had really awesome ties.  Joe B had a cool purple color scheme going and Locker had a colorful striped tie that looked holographic.  Also they both performed their jobs decently.






2nd Star (2 pts):

Smokin Al.  This dude interviewed a lot of people tonight.  His interview with The Browser (TB20) was pretty funny.  He also interview some military representatives on military night so that was pretty cool.  Nice on you Smokin.

1st Star (3 pts):

Kelli Johnson.  She handled the second intermission.  She wore red (easy points with us).  She had a cool necklace (also easy points).  I haven't seen her in awhile (we missed you!).  She didn't mess up.  That's what we expect from our top stars.  Okay, its probably not ALL we expect from our top stars.  Alan May probably could of taken this spot.  Hell, The Jenkins (who I think handled the first intermission) most likely could of been slotted in here cause he has been on fire (in a good way) lately.  But I didn't see Jenkins tonight (my bad dude) and Alan May always scores all the points.  People might say that is stupid logic.  They might say this is no way to run a blog.  To those people I apologize.  Tonight, for whatever reason, I decided I liked Kelli the best and tonight that was enough to earn her the 3 point spot!

Last Star (- 1 pt):

The sun rises in the east. The capitals break the hearts of their fans.  Chuck Gormley fails at his job.  These are all things that I hold to be true.  Sure I missed the first period.  Sure I didn't see Chuck actually mess up or suck tonight.  At this point I don't really feel the need to justify giving him the -1.  You and I both know what to expect when Gormley comes on screen and he has never disappointed.  Sorry I missed your air time tonight Chuck, but not really.  Minus one for you sir.

So there you have it!  Sorry for the rushed and thrown together nature of tonight's post.  These losses are really starting to take their toll.  Hopefully the team does better next time out, hopefully I do better next time out, hopefully you keep reading.  Please keep reading.  In other sports-teams-I-like news I watched the Orioles play the Pirates in spring training and they lost 10-3.  So I got that to be excited for after hockey ends.  Wahoo!

Thanks for reading,
-Dru

Caps V Leafs (Feb 25)

Tonight the Caps looked to keep the moment rolling on the road in Toronto.  They did not disappoint.  With a strong 4-2 victory tonight the Caps are keeping themselves in the playoff hunt and giving us reasons not the throw in the towel as fans.  If this team can play like they did tonight and add some much need pieces at the trade deadline (see Alan May's comments) then I like what they could do down the stretch.  However those are two HUGE ifs and ones that this team has given us no indication they are capable on fulfilling.  Lets hope I'm wrong!  Read what we thought of the CSN crew below:

3rd Star (1 pt):

Tonight’s third star is Locker.  Locker spent the pregame talking up the city of Toronto, sending zingers at May (though not as many as he received), and highlighting the outstanding play of Neuvy of late.  As the game got underway, Locker explained the importance of teams trying to get certain matchups out on the ice in such an important game and how that would be effecting the line changes during the night.  He went on to talk about MoJo and how he has had to fill in for NB19 and what his speed brings to the team.  During the first intermission, Locker interviewed MoJo and asked if it was "your" best road period in a long time. Not sure if Locker meant "your" as in his personally, or "your" as in the team’s collectively. Johansson chooses to interpret it as the latter. Good, unselfish attitude. Locker also calls him “the king of wraparounds.”  Locker also interviewed Aucoin in the second intermission and it was really nice to see a guy who has paid his dues down in the AHL to get some recognition.  The thing that kept Locker from scoring higher tonight was a few contradictory statements he made.  First: “The 4 on 4 play should benefit the Caps”, followed by, “The Leafs great team speed should really be an advantage on this 4 on 4”.  Second: “The Caps cannot let the Leafs get on the PP tonight if they want to win.”, followed by, “The Leafs are 1-15 in PP over the last few games.  Their PP has really fizzled of late.”  What gives Locker?            

2nd Star (2 pts):

Alan May.  May was paired up with Dave Johnson tonight, so you know it was going to be a good show.  May spent the pregame show making fun of Toronto fans for being “flat”, taking shots at Locker, and talking about how important it is that the Caps make a move to acquire a player at the trade deadline that can fill the 1C/2C gap on this team, long term.  AMEN.  We like to think May’s particularly high volume of zingers aimed at Locker tonight was because both men are currently 1-2 in the AOTI standings as we enter the home stretch of the season, and May appears quite intent on going in for the kill. Locker seemed really want to be friends with May postgame: After being asked whether he preferred aggressive or passive play, Locker said, “Aggressive. Remember? You and I are on the same page.” May’s response? “You must be drinking that Canadian beer.” Translation: Nice try, Locker, but I’m bringing this thing home. I also rather enjoyed May’s description of playing aggressive hockey: “Two ways to go into a fight: Either go in throwing punches, or wait for the other guy to hit you. I’d rather be the guy throwing punches.” Well said, Alan, well said. Hopefully the Caps take note.

1st Star (3 pts):

Dave Johnson. Been a while since we’ve seen Johnson working with May, but their chemistry is as strong as ever. Nothing against Rob Carlin, but he just doesn’t bring the same kind of fellow tough-guy demeanor to the table, and he always seems a little bit intimidated by Alan May (and really, who could blame him? May is a scary fucker when he wants to be). Johnson, on the other hand, shows no fear. Even on top of his rapport with May, Johnson seems to have made a noticeable effort to improve his hockey knowledge since we saw him last. While he’s never been shy about offering his own commentary and analysis alongside May’s, tonight he seemed more insightful and in the groove than in the past. Also made me laugh: “It’s warm in February in DC, Winnipeg is leading the Southeast Division, and Alan and Locker agree. The world is obviously coming to an end.” No argument here. Take note, CSN. Keep these guys together. They’re great.

Last Star (-1 pt):

Jill Sorenson.  This was the first time in awhile that Jill was behind the CSN anchor desk and we were pretty excited to see her.  She always comes off as one of the more knowledgeable members of the CSN anchor crew.  Everything she wore tonight was a shade of red (mostly pink), which was a little much but still I like the team spirit.  She showed us her trademark “knowledgeableness” (sure that’s a word) by sounding surprised that the Caps were winning on the road.  She also had trouble saying “Southeast division-leading Winnipeg Jets” with a straight face and had to suppress a chuckle.  Unfortunately for Jill, she ruined an otherwise decent outing by talking about a Neuvy going for the shut out...in the second period.  With how much she clearly knows about hockey you’d think she would of know not to jinx him like that.  In the postgame Jill started out by giving us an apology from the bottom of her heart for jinxing Neuvy, which was nice and shows that she realized what she did and probably won’t do it again.

Thats what we have for you tonight.  As you know, the NHL trade deadline is this Monday.  That day we have something special planned for you guys.  My associate blogger Murshawursha is going to be Live-Blogging the entire day to keep you up to date with all the moves that go down along with his own commentary on the happenings of the day.  I'll be assisting him, but he lives for the trade deadline and this is going to be mostly his thing.  Look for a potential post setting up the Live-Blog coming sometime tomorrow, or if that doesn't happen just be prepared to jump right in to it on Monday morning.  It should be pretty great and I hope you all check it out!  The only other news is there is a new post up over at Fantasy Town, USA.

Thanks for reading!

-Dru

Caps v Canes (Feb 20)

In about as close as you can get to a must win at this point in the season the Caps came out uninspired and with no energy and got waxed by the Canes in a 5-0 thumping.  Terrible game all around for everyone.  Read about how the CSN crew did on a night when the hockey team they cover was clearly not interested in playing hockey:

3rd Star (1 pt):

Locker.  The third spot tonight goes to Locker by default.  That isn’t to say he didn’t do a quality job providing color commentary, he just didn’t have all that much to commentate on.  His telestrations were both terrible plays for the Caps and there were no players available for him to interview during the intermissions.  There were also zero Caps highlights that he could talk about.  Its a little funny that he wanted Mike Green to be the deciding factor in tonights game and Green was on for most of the Cane’s goals.  I suppose he DID play a factor in the outcome though.  At the end of the game Locker let us know that the players on the bench would be feeling really terrible about tonight and said that everyone just wanted to go home.  Yes indeed Locker, yes indeed.         

2nd Star (2 pts):

Michael Jenkins. Jenkins got stuck covering both intermissions and postgame tonight. Opened the first intermission showing highlights of the Senators manhandling the Islanders to the tune of 6-0 earlier today, which made us feel slightly better because it could be worse, we could be Islanders fans. Showed Sens/Isles highlights again during the second intermission. Didn’t have the same cathartic effect the second time around, but then, there was no other hockey to talk about today. Made a plea for the Caps to score a bunch in the third as he signed off, which we couldn’t really argue with. When he came on right at the end of the game to set the table for Sportsnight, he didn’t even mention hockey. Normally we’d probably knock him for that, but fuck it, we really didn’t want to be reminded of the Caps tonight. Covered the basic high(or low?) lights and moved on to other topics as quickly as possible, which again was an act of mercy tonight. Course, it wouldn’t have been a Jenkins showing without at least a little creepiness showing through; we’re pretty sure we saw him wink at us as he signed off the second intermission. Still though, Jenkins sounded interested and engaged in all the highlights he covered; props for staying upbeat and not phoning it in like the Caps did during that clusterfuck. That, plus the fact that he didn’t dwell on painful moments during postgame, gets him the second star.

1st Star (3 pts):

Joe B.  Tonight was unbearable to watch and Joe B knew it.  Most nights when the Caps struggle Joe looks on the bright side of things and tries to keep us upbeat.  Well not tonight.  His utter disappointment in the team tonight was audible in every call he made.  He said it was the worst night of hockey he could remember, and that is saying something in a season that has seen the Caps lay some pretty big eggs.  Joe didn’t get any Caps goals to call, he didn’t get any highlights to show us, and he got 2 ½ fights to talk about that weren’t even that great.  The team gave him absolutely nothing to work with tonight and despite that he managed to be the most entertaining portion of the broadcast.  His constantly taking shots at the team and his self deprecating humor helped me struggle through this game when honestly I just wanted to tune out (maybe catch the Wiz over on CSN+).  The only moment tonight that made me smile came courtesy of Joe B when he said, “he’d never waive his no trade clause to leave Locker” during the 2nd intermission.  It was nice of him to remind me what a genuine smile felt like.  To cap off his performance, Joe B gave the player of the game to Hendy.  That’s right, tonight kinda fighting a dude twice and getting an even +/- rating qualified him as the player of the game.  Thank you Joe B for your work tonight and I’m so, so sorry you had to suffer through that.  (Joe B also let us know that Julie Donaldson and Chick will be at the Laughing Man Tavern this Friday to watch the Caps game!  So that’s pretty cool.)
  
Last Star (-all the points, hopes, and dreams):

Well that's all we have for tonight.  It was a brutal game to watch from start to finish and we salute anyone who managed to make it. Thanks for reading and as always feel free to follow me on twitter @dru90, comment below, and vote in our poll.

Thanks again,

AOTI

PS. For those of you who do follow me on twitter you may have seen I teased a new blogging project that'll run during the NHL off season.  AOTI will still be posting, but less frequently, and I will be putting stuff up on Fantasy Town, USA as well.  It's still in the planning stages but feel free to hop on over there and check it out. -Dru

Caps v Lightning (Feb 18)

Talkin’ bout hockey.  Girl Style.

Behind the men of Action on the Ice stand two women, Deanna and Megan. Deanna has been with Nick for 2 years and Megan has been with Andrew for over 4 years. This blog post is where we make our feature as guest bloggers on Action on the Ice where a womanly perspective will enhance the normal blogging our men give you from game to game! Enjoy while you can, because after this we probably won’t be allowed to do this again! So... Welcome to Action on the Ice. Where the points don’t matter. That’s right, the points are just like penalty minutes to Semin!

    So why are the girls doing the post tonight? Well, our boys have had an easy week with most of the games appearing on the NBC Sports Network and then two games in a row? Well..That isn’t fully correct. We took the opportunity to write on this blog with pride, but boy was it hard to write the post for a game that really couldn’t compare to the show the Caps did last night. Good for you though! We aren’t tasked with giving out points, that is apparently a man-only field.
   
    The pregame show was actually amazing tonight. The time before the game was well spent as Alan May gave us a nice interview with Papa Bear Dale Hunter talking about the win last night and how proud he was of his boys. They even talked about the high save percentage Vokoun had against Florida! How could we possible lose with Vokoun who was in the 90% for saves?! Alan May even dropped hints that Mike Green may be playing tonight, and guess what? Alan May was correct. This was the first game Mike Green was back after his surgery! Being an avid Nuevy fan my night was crushed as I did learn that Vokoun would be playing because of that high save percentage. There was more talk of the trade deadline and Joe B asked the tough question of Halpern of “how does it feel with the deadline approaching?” It was a really interesting question to get into the psyche of this player, and I think if I was giving points Joe B and Alan May would definitely have top spots. The sad thing though? It was another night without Backstrom as they told us he was still out indefinitely. Feel better, Backstrom!

    The game started off giving us hope. The clip of the CAPS men appeared, they were all dressed to the nines in suits, making us forget their toothless grins and misaligned faces. They looked like men, and dashing men at that!  However this was a ploy. This was all apart of the plan to make our CAPS boys, men, when in fact they played on the ice like babies!  The announcers had to include calling “Ovie”, “OV” which thoroughly annoys me but nonetheless, I digress. They began talking up the game, telling us to prepare for a game filled with bloodshed, gore and tears in between action shots of men getting slammed against the boards. I respectfully cleared my throat in preparation for the screaming to come, the image of the referee getting the puck in the face from last nights game still fresh in my mind.

    Both of us girls went into the game hopeful after all of this. How on earth could the caps lose? They had an amazing night the night before and the announcers were really playing it up...but then it hit us. The Tampa Bay Coach, Guy B. looked like an infamous bond villain. “Do you expect me to choke?” cried the Caps. “No, I expect you to get penalty minutes, Mr. Semin.” (I think we all expect Semin to get penalty minutes though). Semin did not disappoint as he ended up negating the power play we got in the first period due to his usual shenanigans. The best part out of all of this? Joe B pointing out the Lightning were in blue tonight. I would never have guessed the men on the ice in blue were the Lightning, I always thought that the Caps wore blue.... and then BAM.. a little over two minutes into the game and the lightning scored a goal. I think this was partially due to Locker and Joe B. jinxing us and talking the lightning up but I will let that slide. I would have a man-crush on the lightning too because of Stamkos. Lucky for us the announcers ended this period by chatting about Matty P as the camera focused on him as he skated around with his scruffy French Canadian baby-face. (Part of me believes Matty’s power comes from the scruffy unshaven look... He absorbed the power from Ovechkin after Ovechkin sold his soul to Gillette...).Matty P really took the pain away from a period full of disappoint and lack-luster performance from the Caps. For a moment, I even saw Matty P outshining the beloved Ovechkin with his butt pad protective gear hanging out of his pants, over top of his jersey, a style made popular by the one and only Ovechkin himself.

   
    The intermission followed with a short segment from CSN to then shoot it over to Joe B and Locker. The CSN intermission did not even talk about the caps for the short segment it was on, but rather focused on high school lacrosse. It was odd and I forgot what I was watching for a second. Joe B and Locker did not disappoint when it got sent to them though, they seemed in a chipper mood despite the sad start. Joe B even joked around that he needed to get Locker a monocle so he could read the teleprompter. Locker quickly replied he had binoculars for that. I did not know what to make of it, but I would rather broadcasts have Joe B and Locker in monocles and top hats from now on. CSN, can this become a reality?

The second period opened to a play that should not have happened. Stamkos took the puck and ran down the center of the ice to juke Vokoun out, now making the score 2-0. Vokoun couldn’t even be blamed for this as there was nobody helping Vokoun out. It seems the team is too used to goalies standing on their heads. Locker went on a rant about how much he loved Stamkos, and then the love for Garon started. There was a scuffle by the net and Locker stated that Garon seemed a little worried that his ear had gotten cut by the skate. How is that possible, Locker? He was wearing a goalie mask. The second period gave us a closeup shot on Ovie smooth as a baby’s bottom clean shaved face.  We pondered for a second, why hasn’t he had the scruffy look for awhile? Then we remembered, Gillette sponsorship.

Second intermission Locker interviewed Mathieu Perrault, who we lovingly call, Matty P.  While not much was said during the interview this provides us with some time to mention a few things that we love about Matty P! He’s the dark horse, doesn’t see a whole lot of playing time (until recently) but put him in the game and expect great things like a hat trick! He may not be the biggest guy out on the ice, but his determination is large.  He puts all the effort out on the ice and leaves it there. He always looks like he is having the time of his life out on the ice and always looks like he wants to play. That is what we like to see!  A nice French Canadian man, with a face not yet destroyed by the game of hockey with a genuine smile! 

    Third period opened with a hope the Caps would close the gap but we were sadly disappointed, no matter how hard the boys tried. The only solace I had was the banter on Garon as Joe B. and Locker talked about his flexibility with Joe B. stating, “Holy Flexibility, Batman!” Craig and Joe even decided they had been around long enough that they needed bobble heads. I would buy a Joe B. bobblehead just to shake it at times and say “Why would you say that!?” So the period then ended with the Caps losing 2-1. It was an uneventful game, but at least the announcers seemed to brighten it up with their banter. Matty P also tried his hardest for us, and both of us girls really appreciate the extra camera shots on him today. The only thing that would have turned this game better for us? If we saw Neuvy in net.

    Post game was basically all the broadcasters being really upset, more like really pissed, none being more upset then Alan May.  He didn’t hide his feelings and called out several players for not playing like they should in a very important game.  In particular, Johanasson was a target of Alan Mays fury. We are being Alan May’s fury though, and believe seeing Johanasson in the press box for a game wouldn’t hurt. He needs to play better more often if the CAPS want to make the playoffs, especially with Backstrom still hurt and out of the game.  

So that was Megan and Deanna making our first guest appearance on the Blog!  It may not be how things are normally done on Action on the Ice but we did things our way tonight! Hope you enjoyed reading the first ever girls only post of Action on the Ice!

Next game comes on Monday against the Canes.  Leave some comments below to let the girls know how they did.  Thanks for reading and see you then! -Dru

PS.  Look for an annoucment to come in the coming month about a new blogging project to replace AOTI during the off-season.  Fantasy Town USA!  

Caps v Panthers (Feb 17)

Big game tonight for the Caps.  They managed to come alive in the third and stop themselves from falling 6 points behind the division leading Panthers.  As season gets closer to the end every game matters if the Caps want to find themselves in the playoffs.  Tonight was an important part of that, but it was only the first step.  Back to it tomorrow against Tampa.  Here is how the CSN crew did after a long break:

3rd Star (1 pt):

Locker comes in third tonight.  He handled his normal color commentary duties tonight as well as the intermission interviews.  He does a nice job setting up the significance of the game in the first period by stressing the importance of getting of to a good start on this extended road trip.  He first interview of the night was with Jay Beagle.  At that point there really wasn’t much Locker could have asked him and as a result the interview seemed a bit lazy on his part.  In the second period, Locker gives some love to D-Wides by pointing out just how many minutes he eats up for the team each night.  The major highlight for Locker in the second was him getting upset at the washed out Knuble call in the dwindling seconds of the period.  His second intermission interview was with a very sad looking Alzner.  In the third, Locker did a really nice job explaining what happens when a ref has to leave the game and how it effects the officiating crew and how they call the game.  It was pretty interesting and a nice bit of insight from Locker. 

2nd Star (2 pts):

Alan May. May had a relatively quiet night (by his standards), but was still solid. Listed his Keys to the Game as play tough on the puck all 60 minutes, get traffic in front of the net, and win the special teams battle. Well, the Caps’ effort tonight was solid throughout, as they outshot the Panthers by a fairly wide margin and looked dangerous, with only some stellar netminding from Theo (and a shitty call by Eric Furlatt) keeping the Caps off the board in the first two periods. The effort paid off as they finally broke through in the third. As far as traffic in front of the net, well, Knuble scored one, but the aforementioned Eric Furlatt decided it shouldn’t count. Well, we can’t fault May for the ref being a fucking idiot, so we’ll give him points for that one. And the Caps did win the special teams battle, albeit with only one goal, so May gets credit for that too. Also made me laugh early on when Ovechkin and Wideman’s spat during practice yesterday was brought up. Without missing a beat, May said, “Hockey’s not for babies,” and moved on.

1st Star (3 pts):

Joe B takes tonight’s top honor tonight.  He started the game letting us know that the PP has been less than stellar on the road.  His first period highlights were rounded out as he fed us a cool fact about Voko being a 9th round pick.  That is crazy.  The second period was filled with big calls but unfortunately they were all save-calls because of Jose’s outstanding play.  In the final seconds of the period a Knuble goal that would have tied the contest was washed out and Locker was outraged.  Joe B was also upset with the call but kept a level head and calmly explained to us the letter of the rule that was used to make the call.  In the third period the Caps got a chance to go on the PP and Joe B said he had a good feeling about it.  A few minutes later Ovie knocked one home and the Caps didn’t look back.  Coming out and saying he thought the team would score on the PP, especially after his earlier comments about the Cap’s road PP woes, was pretty impressive and helped to solidify Joe B in the top spot.    

Last Star (-1 pt):

Chris Miller. I was rather surprised to see Miller in on the Caps on a night on which the Wizards also played, since I’ve always though of him as more of a basketball guy. After tonight, that belief has been reinforced. Miller wasn’t bad in his first intermission coverage, but he was pretty lifeless. Not a lot of energy, and was pretty obviously reading the details of the Hal Gil trade and highlights of the NSH/DET off a teleprompter. He was significantly more vibrant when talking about Jeremy Lin and other basketball highlight so in the postgame show, but we don’t give out points for basketball highlights, now do we. Miller gets last star for just being meh, and clearly not caring a whole lot about hockey.

That's all we got for you tonight.  Thanks for reading! 

PS if you haven't already vote on our poll we have running on the right side of the blog!