Saturday, January 7, 2012

Caps v Sharks (Jan 7th)

The Caps fell to the Sharks in San Jose and Mike Green got the injuries again. Whomp, whomp. It was also to barest of bones crew covering the game tonight. Three men entered, and three men left with some kind of points by default. Next game is Monday against LA, expect another skeleton crew for that game!

3rd Star (1 pt):

Joe B. Joe B. seemed to have written this game off as a loss before it even started. At least through the first two periods, he made sure to remind us every couple of minutes that the Caps were historically terrible against the Sharks, especially in San Jose. Nobody likes a downer, Joe B.

Second Star (2 pts):

Locker. Locker put in a solid effort. Just looking at him at the top of the show, we could tell he came ready to play, doing his best George Clooney impression in a dark suit with a purple tie that combined with his gray hair looked positively elegant. For the most part, Locker called a strong game. Highlights included a wonderful bit of alliteration in the first period when he mentioned that San Jose had the “Big Bomber on the Blueline, Brent Burns.” Amazing. He also put in a valiant effort at telestrating on the road with clearly inferior equipment, literally telestrating over top of game footage and not the normal overhead view. Despite less-than-ideal circumstances, Locker knew what the people wanted and was determined to give it to them.

The only thing keeping Locker out of the top spot is the fact that he jinxed the living shit out of us in the third period. After the Caps scored early in the third to tie the game at 2, Locker pointed out that it had been 6 games since the Caps gave up a third period goal. Literally two seconds later, San Jose scored. At least Locker had the good sense to acknowledge his mistake, commenting, “I’m gonna stop talking now.” But it was too late; The damage had already been done.

First Star (3 pts):

Dave Johnson. New guy around the Caps coverage. The internets tell us that he is the play-by-play guy for the DC United and the Washington Wizards. We assume that Dave probably begged the CSN bigwigs to let him cover someone other then the winless Wizards and so they stuck him on a late night Caps game. All by himself. That’s right, Johnson had to hold down the intermission breaks solo tonight. He didn’t really mess up during the highlights and had a pretty sweet sounding voice. We attribute this to his play-by-play experience. Even after a loss, Johnson tried to keep us upbeat by coming out for the (admittedly not very substantial) postgame show with a ton of energy. On a bare bones night, Johnson takes the top spot in his first appearance with the CSN Caps crew for not fucking up and not being annoying. Interested to see what he can do and how he will score alongside a full game day crew. He showed enough tonight to make him an interesting addition to the Action on the Ice competition.

Participants for the Night:
Locker: 12
Joe B: 8
Dave Johnson: 3

That's all we got for tonight. See you Monday!


  1. I didn't see the whole thing, but I was annoyed at Locker toward the end of a tense third period as the Caps still had a vague chance to rally. As we were moving the puck up ice, instead of talking about what was happening, Locker decided to take 10 valuable seconds to tell us that Marc-Eduard Vlasic's nickname was "Pickles."

  2. Yeaaah. Joe B was really annoying at the start but Locker definitely started to be pretty bad towards the end of the game.

  3. I had in our game notes for the first period that I bet Locker would make at least one pickles-related comment about Vlasic before the end of the game. He also through in a Pringles joke about Tommy Wingles for good measure. Must not have let him eat before the game.