Thursday, December 15, 2011

Caps v Jets (Dec 15th)

Tonight the Caps traveled halfway across the continent to face their south-east division rivals the Winnipeg Jets.  It was a hard fought game all around and Neuvy and Ovie came up big tonight to get the Caps a W.  It was a skeleton crew holding it down for the Comcast Sportsnet crew tonight, with only four people getting in on the action.  Decided to set up the list a bit differently, going form 3rd-1st star (Sources say that people like dramatic tension and build up.)  Tonight's coverage was a joint effort from both bloggers here at Action on the Ice, enjoy!  

3rd Star (1pt): 
Chick Hernandez made his first appearance during the second intermission.  He was sporting a pair of fresh looking new glasses that really took his “intelligent gentleman” persona to a new level.  However, his new hardware seemed to be throwing him off a bit as he seemed a half step slow throughout his highlight presentation.  Chick reappeared in the immediate post game along side the Jenkins and had ditched his glasses in favor of his classic look.  Chick did a nice job wrapping up the game in a sentence and then set up for the Sportsnet show with an endearing “buckle-up” turn of phrase.  However, he was about to be dragged down into the void that in Jenkins.  More on that later.  Overall, we liked Chick’s attempt with the glasses and think if he can work out the kinks with them it will really help take him to the next level.  Its worth noting that both Julie Donaldson and Chick Hernandez have seemed a little off in each of their last appearances.  Each normally stellar broadcaster was paired with the Jenkins.

Second Star (2pts): 
Joe started off the broadcast in his typically strong fashion with his game introduction that consistently borders on poetry.  As the game got underway, he caused us to pause for a moment when he described the Jet’s crowd as sounding like 150,000 people.  We thought back to those long hoary nights spent studying high school science and decided that there was no way it could be true.  Also during the first period Joe B scored some big points by talking about curling, which is basically one of the top three winter Olympic sports (Hockey, Curling, Gun-Skiing).  It is also a sport we think we could learn to play so that makes it even more  likable.  The second period was full of Joe B trademark moments.  He let us know that Cody Eakin is from Winnipeg, something he couldn’t tell us enough the first time we played the Jets.  He also let us know that Tom Poti is still on the team and still injured (lost in the woods/eaten by a bear?).  Finally, he descried Byfuglyen’s shot as “a flamethrower”.  This term STILL makes zero sense to us. Flamethrowers don’t fire projectiles...but they are cool (actually very hot) so whatever.  Joe B rounded off his second period performance by throwing out some Cap’s history about Konowalchuk who is one of our favorites forever, so that got him serious pointage.  In the third period Joe B stuck his neck out by jinxing the Caps...the first shot for the Jets happened within 15 seconds of him saying they had zero in the third.  But the team went on the win so we’ll let it slide.  Overall, Joe B had a typically strong performance, a snazzy suit and tie combo, and capped it off with two of our favorite things, Curling and Konowalchuk.  (Does Konowalchuck play curling now?  Please let it be so.)        

First Star (3pts):
It was a tough call between Locker and Joe B for the top spot on tonight’s broadcast, as both turned in their usual stellar performance calling the game. Despite several bad puns made at Blake Wheeler’s expense (calling him “18 Wheeler” in the pre-game show and describing him as “wheeling-wheeler” on a scoring chance), Locker’s strong performance during both interviews put him over the top and earned him the 1st star of the night, despite Joe B’s curling and Konowalchuk brownie points.  As mentioned at the top, it was a bare-bones crew tonight and Locker definetly handled a large portion of the workload.  His color commentary was sharp and his interview work also really showed off his range as he talked to Erskine (lumberjack) and Matty P (ultra-French).   He seemed to be trying extra-hard, perhaps because he didn’t get to telestrate tonight, which he apparently missed very much as he made a joke about it in his Network Hockey spot.  Maybe he was just really happy to be reunited with Joe B after having to call last game from down on the ice.  The only knock against him tonight occurred during the second period when he appeared to forget Jim Johnson’s name. Thankfully, good ol’ Joe B was there to remind him and spare him a possible faux pas.  Also, with Alan May missing-in-action tonight, Locker filled the all important position of resident hockey-guy expert and showed off his players-perspective knowledge by answering Joe B’s question about what to do on 2-1 breakaways.  Also dug his tie selection.

Last Star (-1pt):

After making some progress last game, awkward Jenkins was back with a vengeance. Though he did manage to make it through the first intermission alone relatively cleanly (aside from the creepy grin he sported the entire time he talked), the Jenkins train derailed and crashed in a spectacular fireball as soon as he came on with Chick for the post-game show. Initially, he simply stared intensely into Chick’s eyes, and I couldn’t help but wonder what tender thoughts he was feeling for his fellow anchor. Then, in a manner that can only be described as similar to a high school freshmen floundering to make conversation with that girl he likes, Jenkins dragged Chick’s “Buckle Up” comment out to the point where the moment was solidly ruined. Then, the cherry on top of the awkward sundae that was Jenkins’ night: He said he liked to call him and Chick “Eskimo Pie.” Is that racist? Just dumb? We’re not sure, and neither was Chick, as the show stopped dead in its tracks for a moment while everyone tried to wrap their brain around Jenkins’ comment. Dragged down an otherwise respectable night for Chick. Also, if you ever want to be able to look at Jenkins again, do not, under any circumstances, look up Eskimo Pie on UrbanDictionary.

Current Points Totals for Tonights Participants:
Locker: 5
Joe B: 2
Chick: 2
Jenkins: -1

Check out the complete standings in the top right of the blog!
As always, feel free to follow me on twitter @dru90 to learn when new posts go up.


  1. Eskimo Pie is like chocolate dip ice cream like a klondike bar. I don't think they call it that any more due to the Eskimo thing but I remember calling it that as a kid. Prolly came from my parents childhood generation

  2. I mean I'm fairly certain he didn't use it in any of those ways listed on urbandictionary... but regardless, they're in my head now. Either way, it was an awkward moment to end all awkward moments.